Feelings

Lots of pimples, some hurt, some looks bad and some itchy, never had those when I was supposed to have them, now at 29 I am having them, as if they wanted to take vengeance for all those lost years. The first thing my cousin asked me during Diwali was how come your face has so many of them, he didn’t bother to even wish me, any need for people to ask why it has come, as if I know the answer, actually I am waiting for it to go, another reason to feel depressed and low. Visited the doctor, a famous one in the city, she has prescribed gels and creams and of course tablets, but its been more than a month, no visible change. When one goes, another one appears, the worst part is the density is increasing day by day.

Sometimes so bored of looking after myself, so what If they are there, my sister was saying to stop thinking about it, but its not possible, every time I look into the mirror, the first thing I see are those bulges and blemishes. Even if people indulge in a conversation with me, I have a feeling they first check them out, advise me to avoid oil, ghee, chips, ice creams and chocolates, honestly, I can’t live without them, hope some magic happens and I get a blemish less skin.

Now I pray to god as I down to sleep, My lord please keep my shape, no wrinkles please, no age spots, please no gray, please no sags, please keep me healthy, keep me young and thank you lord for all that you have given.
To feel what I feel now, is to feel everything there is to feel in the world.