Saawariya (Just say it in Tamil)

For the first time in my life I felt like getting sloshed after watching the much-hyped Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s Saawariya (seriously sethupoitian), if you have survived watching Saawariya then I am sure you can handle any situation in your life, anything dangerous, unexpected, horrible and tragic. Ranbir Kapoor, what is he made of, I mean his dancing was too good, damn flexible I say, but he is too fast when he speaks, I was gasping for breath each time he spoke, his dialogues were too lengthy, and half the time didn’t understand what he was saying, Hindi is difficult, language problem probably made to think the movie is stupid, but honestly, you may ask anybody, am sure they would have disliked the movie. Every two minutes there was song and the story line was damn silly, I wonder if Mere Naam Joker legacy is going to continue in the Kapoor khandaan, the film certainly projects Ranbir as the Raj Kapoor in Mera Naam Joker.

Kaavya took revenge by taking me for this god forsaken Saawariya, I was actually dreading the evening, something told me the movie is going to depress me more, which actually did so, am feeling gloomy, low and terribly disillusioned in life, The settings specially with no sunlight, covered by blue and dull colours just put me off, was SMSing my friend all through the movie, trying to make her understand th kind of torture I had to undergo because one little alien in Sify, thanks Kaavya, I will never forget you for life.

The simple idea of how a girl falls in love with her tenent (Salman). Stop making out to a man who is four times older than you Sonam (I mean Sonam`s intimate scenes with Salman was obnoxious). SLB has just let everyone down. I became so restless I wanted to know the ending, in fact in the process I knew I could be a good script writer. Was wondering whether Salman really existed in the movie or is Sonam just hallucinating, or is Sonam a ghost, may be mad or may be a psycho. Imagine a girl wandering the city when it’s raining cats and dogs. The best part of the movie was exceptional Zohra Sehagal, the Lillypop. It’s not worth reviewing the movie as I feel it’s an indiscreet effort after such heavy publicity. An experimental musical play, a dramatic poem without actual drama, a story without a plot, a fable without a moral lesson, a love triangle which is incomplete. It`s not worth mentioning about Rani, am pissed with her.

A Buddha statue in a red light area, canals and boats like Venice, snowfall, artistic graffiti on streets, all make it a where-on-earth-is-this f…..location.

Feelings

Lots of pimples, some hurt, some looks bad and some itchy, never had those when I was supposed to have them, now at 29 I am having them, as if they wanted to take vengeance for all those lost years. The first thing my cousin asked me during Diwali was how come your face has so many of them, he didn’t bother to even wish me, any need for people to ask why it has come, as if I know the answer, actually I am waiting for it to go, another reason to feel depressed and low. Visited the doctor, a famous one in the city, she has prescribed gels and creams and of course tablets, but its been more than a month, no visible change. When one goes, another one appears, the worst part is the density is increasing day by day.

Sometimes so bored of looking after myself, so what If they are there, my sister was saying to stop thinking about it, but its not possible, every time I look into the mirror, the first thing I see are those bulges and blemishes. Even if people indulge in a conversation with me, I have a feeling they first check them out, advise me to avoid oil, ghee, chips, ice creams and chocolates, honestly, I can’t live without them, hope some magic happens and I get a blemish less skin.

Now I pray to god as I down to sleep, My lord please keep my shape, no wrinkles please, no age spots, please no gray, please no sags, please keep me healthy, keep me young and thank you lord for all that you have given.
To feel what I feel now, is to feel everything there is to feel in the world.

I don’t care!!!!

No matter what people say, I have to write what I feel, I mean that was the reason why I started a blog, so, for heaven sake don’t try to advise me, you know am not the listening type. I have reached a point where I just can’t do it, really I mean, enough, I have done enough and now I need to look out, which I am,

This is how I feel right now:

Flesh-eating, eye-gouging, skin-scratching, heart-bleeding, skull-crushing, life-blighting, soul-destroying darkness. Darkness drawing me deeper and deeper down a long well, a long spiraling descent into a place where all sense of self is lost- where all you ever were, all you wanted to be, and all you are is lost, sucked down into a miasma and maelstrom of never ending destruction, torment, suffering.

I know i always sound depressed, but when someone feels that way, you can't you leave him or her the way she wants to be. On the other hand, am so cautious that there at times I have left valuable things pass by, should I call it cautious or careless?

I am not over emphasizing a minor part and diminishing a major development, I am just trying to do something, at least attempting to do so, never know that might boomerang,As my friend says I am the best judge, Thanks Sam for being with me. End of the day it’s you who I always count on!

Searching, thinking, reminding….

What’s running my mind, lot of things, simultaneously, like many waves lashing the shores, one after the other, non-stop. Where to start and where to end, when thought process overflows. Its like I have been holding my breadth for a while now and I finally exhaled! I can’t even say I have exhaled it fully, because there seems to be leftovers.

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and grounded into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. Some decisions we want to take but since our decisions affect many specially when it comes to family, we are chained not to take it, though heart of hearts we feel we need to change. Compulsion, responsibility do change your entire living.

When my options are closed, I feel worthless, one friend says I set preconditions. Anyway, sometimes all of us feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE YOU. I just want to remember this: Amateurs Built The Ark and Professionals Built The Titanic!

Husband Vs Wife

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realised that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM " He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.


WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied , " in-laws"



W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day. 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

THE TIME

The humble and the most punitive beast in today's world is... Any guesses, Yes you are right, it is the TIME. Most of us take this beast for granted. One thing I have realised that I must enjoy the present moment and if not now then when!!Sometimes, whether we like it or now, rules have to be obeyed. This especially goes for the single thing like the TIMEI have enjoyed my moments of dodging time and playing with it promiscuously. I have had a great deal of fun cheating time and living by the moment. And then when I woke up one fine day, I realised that it was not time I was dodging, but myself….I guess one should not gamble unless one can live with the loss if things don’t work out the way you had hoped!

But all said and done, I still reminisce the nice era when me and my buddy TIME were inseparable.

There have been times when I pray for certain phases in my life to vanish from my memory, but actually I am wrong, those phases which have gone by have taught me lots of things. Victory, defeat, hurt, happiness, sadness,love, care, affection, reciprocation, patience, anger, laughter, elusion, emotions, ignorance, relationships and many more. an endless list of things, if only we ponder , we can realise how valvuable this 'beast' has been. As they say there will be a TIME when you realise how important few things are in life.

TIME is simple yet so complicated. Sometimes, it doesnt matter how hard you try and get close, TIME always eludes you - but then at other times, no matter how much you try to stay away, you are sucked in by the vortex!!! And then there is always the case where you just know you care and comforted by the fact that TIME is alsways there till you hit the grave.

Sentimental trash

As I say bye to one more past and openly hug the new one cast. I hope and pray today shall bring lots of happiness and songs to sing that your presence in my life shall fill for all that this year made so nil and in every moment that means much pain, joy, triumph.

Everyday I look forward to something new, something exciting, something as fresh as a lily. Expectations after expectations. One special wish, I want it to come true:

Once in a while I want to revisit my past and freeze those moments.

I WANT TO BE POSTITIVE!!!