Saawariya (Just say it in Tamil)

For the first time in my life I felt like getting sloshed after watching the much-hyped Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s Saawariya (seriously sethupoitian), if you have survived watching Saawariya then I am sure you can handle any situation in your life, anything dangerous, unexpected, horrible and tragic. Ranbir Kapoor, what is he made of, I mean his dancing was too good, damn flexible I say, but he is too fast when he speaks, I was gasping for breath each time he spoke, his dialogues were too lengthy, and half the time didn’t understand what he was saying, Hindi is difficult, language problem probably made to think the movie is stupid, but honestly, you may ask anybody, am sure they would have disliked the movie. Every two minutes there was song and the story line was damn silly, I wonder if Mere Naam Joker legacy is going to continue in the Kapoor khandaan, the film certainly projects Ranbir as the Raj Kapoor in Mera Naam Joker.

Kaavya took revenge by taking me for this god forsaken Saawariya, I was actually dreading the evening, something told me the movie is going to depress me more, which actually did so, am feeling gloomy, low and terribly disillusioned in life, The settings specially with no sunlight, covered by blue and dull colours just put me off, was SMSing my friend all through the movie, trying to make her understand th kind of torture I had to undergo because one little alien in Sify, thanks Kaavya, I will never forget you for life.

The simple idea of how a girl falls in love with her tenent (Salman). Stop making out to a man who is four times older than you Sonam (I mean Sonam`s intimate scenes with Salman was obnoxious). SLB has just let everyone down. I became so restless I wanted to know the ending, in fact in the process I knew I could be a good script writer. Was wondering whether Salman really existed in the movie or is Sonam just hallucinating, or is Sonam a ghost, may be mad or may be a psycho. Imagine a girl wandering the city when it’s raining cats and dogs. The best part of the movie was exceptional Zohra Sehagal, the Lillypop. It’s not worth reviewing the movie as I feel it’s an indiscreet effort after such heavy publicity. An experimental musical play, a dramatic poem without actual drama, a story without a plot, a fable without a moral lesson, a love triangle which is incomplete. It`s not worth mentioning about Rani, am pissed with her.

A Buddha statue in a red light area, canals and boats like Venice, snowfall, artistic graffiti on streets, all make it a where-on-earth-is-this f…..location.