Monday, September 10, 2007

Sleepless nights

I love to sleep, have slept for 16 hours a day, the moment I see my bed I used to feel sleepy, now things have changed, I am sleep deprived, toss and turn, think about all the wildest things possible, I have been trying to control my thoughts for a long time now, literally battling with them, weird feelings and thoughts keep rankling. But, my fate, it overpowers, rules and finally I have reached a point where I dread nights.

My mother always used to say start counting numbers when we you don’t get sleep, and I have always done that, day before night, I counted, counted, counted and it crossed 5800, what the hell, what a waste of time, still didn’t get it, may be should have stepped out to watch TV, but felt lazy. Was gazing at my son, what an angel he is, sleeping peacefully, husband was snoring, I knew he too was fast asleep. What do I do, expect continue thinking. Madness, still haven’t got my sleep, may be should start taking sleeping pills, used to actually at one point of time, when I used to do my night shifts, then I was scared I could get addicted. Now, the same creepy feeling is haunting me. Should I or should I not. Frustrated, depressed, no satisfaction and disgusted. Why am I feeling these things, reasons I really don’t know. Of late been cribbing too much. Truly, my life is not that bad. I am enjoying my life to some extent. May be since I have everything in my life I want, I feel depressed. Stupid I am. That’s human nature, never get satisfied. Wants more, more and more.

Now, coming back to my nights, can someone tell me what I should do to get my sleep back. I have always been called the sleeping beauty, but now I am craving for one.Life is rude to me.

5 comments:

Lakshmy Venkiteswaran said...

When I cannot sleep, I do something that I love. I love reading. So I pick up a book or a magazine and read every word. Some of it gets absorbed and some of it withers away. Sometimes I do a lot of deep breathing to calm myself and try meditation. Try being the operative word here. My point is don't try too hard. You're unable to sleep becuase your mind is working overtime and anxiety sets in. CAlm yourself. Watch TV if you have to. U cud blog at home if u hav internet. But don't feel tired and unhappy that you're unable to sleep. Unless u calm ur mind, nothing can work.

springrolls said...

When I don't get sleep that means something is haunting me. It could be work or personal issues. I follow a simple technique by which I get sleep I keep a book below my cot and write whatever is haunting me, so that they are completely transferred to paper and nothing left on my mind.

I remember a night where I have filled 3 A4 size paper and read the next day to find how stupid I am to worry over silly issues.

neeraja said...

Great idea, may be would do it next time, now that I dont sleep much, I guess I will stock A4 sheets.

Anonymous said...

Hey I suggest u take couple of pegs and go to the bed , Y do u waste time by counting and all. should i send u bottles???.

I am a person who belives that being un happy and happy is in our own hand. We have to paint our life colours , if left like that thenit will turn black or grey.........

Janu said...

When I can't sleep, I generally resort to movies! But the funniest part is, if I start watching a movie, I'll end up not sleeping at all. If its a disturbed night, blogging defenitely helps. Try that!